Login Now .::. Contact Lisa for an account
It’s been a long time since I updated this site, so here is an update.
Last year I was a hermit, this year I am the opposite.
This is a new me. It’s a wonderful journey of self-discovery.
I am more happy than I have been in a very long time. And I mean ridiculously happy. Beyond ridiculously happy.
As in I can’t make the smiling stop, it is no longer a matter of simple volition.
Somewhere in the last year I found self-confidence. I am still not happy with my weight, but I am working on it. But somewhere, somehow (50lbs down?), my own personal confidence skyrocketed. I started to socialize, and I made a few very, very close friends. When I hooked up with an old friend that I’d lost contact with, the confidence is what he gravitated to.
I think I got just enough confidence to go do small stuff. Then I found friends, and I dated, and the people that I surround myself with clearly like me for me. I hang out with these wonderful friends and I don’t have to filter the crazy things that go through my head. I don’t have to worry about looking stupid (oh it happens, they still like me!).
For a very long time I didn’t feel attractive (not just physical, though that too). That meant I didn’t go out because I didn’t have any self-confidence and so I didn’t interact: I hid.
I am still not some crazy extrovert that is dancing on table tops (sorry!). But now, I spend time with the people that I care about and that clearly care about me - and I can be me. I can say the things in my head, I can make the jokes I want, and I can screw up and still be accepted.
I hope everyone gets to experience this happiness and acceptance in their lives. It is extremely special.
Being comfortable in my own skin is wonderful. It is my own skin, and the only one I’ve got. Liking it is very important, after all.
-Lisa, on January 8, 2012 at 12:38 pm