. . . in the distant, early morning . . .

... so maybe I’m cynical.

I spent 2 hours at the ENT today.  I had a hearing test on top of all the check-ups.  My hearing is perfect, that’s a relief.

The good: nothing major is wrong with me.

The bad: nothing at all is wrong with me.

Why is that bad?  Because I have symptoms and they don’t know what’s causing them.  So the end diagnosis was “virus”.  This is based on how acute the symptoms are.  The doctor thinks it will naturally run its course within a few weeks.  If I’m still dizzy in 3 weeks I’ll have to go to a Portland clinic for more testing. 

I’ve gotten this “virus” thing a few times.  It usually means the doctors can’t figure it out and meds don’t work. In the past it has always run its course, so hopefully it will this time.  But sometimes I wonder if this is the textbook response when they simply have no idea what is going on.

Oh well, my hearing is fine and nothing major turned up.  I should be happy, so happy I shall be.

-Lisa, on July 28, 2010 at 11:57 am .::. Comment (0)

I’m still sick: constantly dizzy, coughing badly.  I’m currently on medication but it looks like I’ll need to see a specialist early next week since this has been going on over a week.

But today I was sitting staring at the telly, too hot to do anything outside and too dizzy to do anything inside.  I was really, really bored. So I decided to run.  First, I had a banana and some orange juice. 

I started off slow and stayed slow compared to what I’d been doing.  I only actually ran about 1/3rd of it, and speed-walked the rest.  I had to keep a very close eye on my heart rate as it is higher than normal from the dizziness and meds.  I ran too long at one point and my heart-rate was through the roof, so I went back to a walk.

After about 17 minutes I started a cool-down, finishing on .7 miles at 20 minutes.  Shorter than previously, not that much slower, but it felt good to actually run again.  It felt really dizzying as well, and perhaps I shouldn’t be pushing myself - but I’m happy that I did.

In the shower my ear popped.  Kind of similar to an altitude change.  Then the other ear popped.  The pressure has somewhat changed ears.  I’m not sure what that is all about but I’ll report it to my doctor in the a.m.  I’m mostly worried about hearing loss, along with being permanently dizzy.

... and if I am permanently dizzy, then why put off running?  I’m going to get fit somehow, and I am not going to allow this to stop that progress.

I’ve lost some weight since starting all of this as well, which feels good.  Much slower weight loss than I want but I hadn’t really modified my diet much, so any weight loss is welcome.  In fact my diet has reverted to awful with my recent illness.  So it was a real surprise this morning when I stepped on the scale.

I’m really looking forward to sussing out what is going on with me, and hopefully fixing it.  It’s scary being dizzy all the time, and the cough is annoying.  Hopefully we can figure this thing out and, even more hopefully, find out that it is not serious.

-Lisa, on July 25, 2010 at 2:31 pm .::. Comment (0)

I have been biting my nails for as long as I can remember.  Very short. Gross.

I really like “pretty” hands.  Well taken care of; not necessarily lots of polish - but obviously cared for.  So this has been a major issue for me.  Plus it can lead to infections and quite honestly, is painful.

This is a hard habit to break.  Your hands just happen to follow you everywhere, after all.  I bite out of boredom, stress, nervousness, frustration, fear.  You name it, I bite.

I’ve stopped biting on and off for a few years now; a few months ago I bit all my nails off so I decided to get tips and immediately stop again.  The tips did a fantastic job keeping my nails strong and looking good while my real nails grew underneath.

The tips are off now, and all I’ve got on is some clear basecoat.  I’m probably going to put some color on, but not 100% sure.  If it chips that tends to set me off.

How do you break a habit like this? Let me be honest: I have no idea.  I’ve done it through will-power, I’ve done it through “blocking” via tips.  I’m sure I’ll re-lapse… well I hope not, but it’s very likely.  But I’ll keep trying until I’m able to not bite as the rule. 

I don’t have suggestions on how to fix this.  For me, tips helped the most.  They were stronger, smoother, and looked pretty.  For some will-power works.  A major part of my routine has been taking care of my nails every day: pushing back cuticles, cleaning, and putting on “stop biting nails” from stopbitingnails.com.  That routine, and the disgustingness of that creme, has helped convinced me not to bite. 

This is a big thing for me.  Hopefully I can keep it up.  It’s a very hard habit to break.

-Lisa, on July 23, 2010 at 11:48 am .::. Comment (2)